Hello peeps...

Surprise to see my entry at tis day at tis time?..I got the off pass to book out about 3 hrs ago...will be booking in tml nite to camp again.. manage to book out cause my grandma was warded to the hospital tis evening and she broke her pelvis bone...gonna go thru operation tomolo...haizz...nvm..let's pray everyting will go well...

Hmm..tis week nothing much to update...BMT start le...monday did IPPT...Tuesday spend the whole day cleaning my "wife" carefully..goin range soon le..can't afford to be careless.. Wednesday had the BCCT...hehe..tough but fun..lolz... Everyday is tiring and very2 stressful to the mind but always end with a little consolation...a rather decent bed to rest at nite and a short chit chat session on the phone with a fren each individual nite.. OHH YA!!...Bro Shenhong called me on tuesday nite!!!...hahaha..and if u all are wondering why i am so excited bout it...cos......"drum roll"....he just live next to my coy's blk lor..I'm eagle coy and he is in cougar coy...haha..so near yet so far..rite..still need to use handphone to communicate..hahaha!He is serving his NS too..gd to go bro..lolz.. my POP in 10 weeks ohh..PO PO POP OH!...hahaa

Hmm..ohh ya..more ppl come to leave me msgs to ask me why I wan to quit sjab and some tell me not to leave.. In fact, I dun really noe myself if I got the heart to continue...sound surprising of why I make tis decision after a solid 8 yrs of slogging thru the part and parcel of tpsjab...hmm, i guess it just need a small simple yet very piercing hurting matter to break tat solitary passion.

I tried my best to please everyone and in fact to be nice and make everyone happy with the things done in sjab...To those who really noe me will noe tat i got my own unique ways of doing things and will always just say wat I really think or feel...and every decision I make will hav it reasons but just tat i dun say wat it is... I wan everyone to be successful and progress fast in this organisation even to the same stage as me as an officer but some things can't be rush... Maybe my thinkings and ideas or even the way i do things are not able to be understood and always b mistaken of...I dun blame anyone but myself...Come to think of it...I might hav poor communication skills. No one is perfect..of cos but tat is more to an excuse than a reason...agree?

When I am in camp...I often lie on my bed..not spend time sleeping but think of all the time I had in the past...in the camps..IM..meetings and the outings...even some of the hang outs tat I used to hab with the many juniors frm various stds...sad to say...things like tis rarely or even dun exist anymore in my life...

Haizz..I dunnoe la...I need time to reflect on myself more...time to think thru again and again b4 i make tis major decision. Sometime...I just wan to call it quit and stop immediately...as it is, my batch had stop their service 1 by 1..even the most dedicated one had call it quit...hmm..i guess the more committed you are to sumting..the more easier you get hurt by it.

Sumting i wan to say...tpsjab is not tat political cca...it is just tat everyone got their own thinkings and ideas to contribute...but all r to eager to use each and every ideas which make it hard to be implement...

To those who been spreading ur own preception to ur frens bout wat i say to you...pls dun continue with it..not tat i dun wan the ppl to noe wat i say but it is very irritating when ppl misunderstood my intention. So dun assume tat u noe everyting when u dun even noe a single thing. Things are not as simple as it seem...

To the person who msg me on sunday nite, you noe who u r...i really appreciate it...I dun doubt your sincerity.. and pls dun leave at tis point...les will need all the help he can get or even if i choose to reconsider and stay for a little more period of time..i will need ur help to run the corps.

Hmm..i guess tis is long enuff...hope you all wun get bored which i tink you will..hehez...take care all...

Sincerely signing off,
Fairus




Hello all...

News really spread very fast...quite a no. of ppl knoe my intention to quit frm sjab. To some, you guys just refuse to believe it as you all know how enthu i am bout sjab...I'm sorry to end up at tis stage... To some, just wan to know what make me decide on this major decision...guys, dun need to make any guess cos even you got it right..it dun make any difference. Hmm..i wonder there shud be some will be saying 'finally he is leaving"...mayb?i also dunno..?
I tink its good to hav a blog..i can type out watever i am bottling up in me..be it happy or sad things..it will always be here for me and only the server tat can stop me frm expressing myself here. Hmm..now i am in a dilemma..shud i reconsider bout staying put for another 6 mths or to leave the corps? Shud i help in zone instead but it is not a wise decision also cos i will be still hab to communicate with tpsjab?..shud i just cut my ties with zone 8 and register to hq as a volunteer member?..shud i join kent in his adult division..zone 9? haizz...or shud i just stop my service for gd in sjab..but that will be against my conscience..my passion for sjab is still there but my disappointment get the better of me.. I really dunno.. i really need to sit and reflect again..

If i consult my std mates...they will ask me consider again, been tis far and quit is really a waste. But some will say..."finally you join me.."...haha...i really miz my std mates..each and everyone of them hav their unique qualities..I also miz the times I had with the batch 2 years after me..which means les,ng,fat..cherry..they all. Actually leaving is not a bad idea..with leslie as the next OIC...tpsjab cud be in a better shape. He shud b able to communicate better with the younger generations..more ppl willing to help under his command which is gd cos tis way it wud make me feel more relieved to leave..

Ohh ya..if you guys noe me abit better..you wud noe of 1 of my motto in life.."tough time dun last,tough men do"...Hmm..i guess even a tough man will fall one day when the time had finally come..sumting to ponder about..

Okie2..enuff of all those stuffs...let me get on to wat i do today..hmm..actually nothing much..slag at home for the whole day till 6pm like tat b4 goin to tampines to attend a wedding ceremony...then go walk2 at the pasar malam at reservoir park there... then back here to blog..

"I may forget what you said, but I will never forget how you made me feel."

"If you are not being criticized, you may not be doing much."

Some phases above that I create to ponder about...

I end here for today...take care everyone!

Hello people....

It really been very2 long since i touch this bloggy...6months ++...if i were to express everything...it will take days for u all to read it...so i tink i just annouce a few important stuffs...
*drum roll*.... 1st matter....I am serving the nation now...I am in NS!...hehez...in tekong still serving my bmt lor...3 months to POP worz..haha!...
2nd matter...I had slim down and i trying my best to be a better person each day..most important now is to be more a patience and care free person...wun wan to be load with lots of probs anymore..the wound in my heart is healing slowly but it still need time..i myself dunno how long..
Lastly, it might cause most of you to be shock...after much thinking these days..I finally decide to end my service as a sjab member of TPSJAB at the end of tis year but my service for the public will not end here...as i always believe..once a sjab member..forever will be a sjab member.

To all the young officers and ncos out there..do strive hard to achieve what you want. To those that see me as an enemy or always have the thinking of me causing trouble or being harsh on you..I am truly sorry.. It is just that you dun noe me tat well or we just dun click well..it is sumting that both side end up losing. To end all this misery that one day i believe will make me hate life,i think i shud take the 1st step to leave the organisation for good. I hope the young ones will be able to take care and run the Corp well much better than I do.

To all my meiz...I am sorry if it been long since i met up with u all..not to mention to be there for you when you need me. But i believe you all noe how hard i try to make an effort ask for your well being every now and then..shud i neglect you..i am truly sorry...I love all of you..my meiz..friends...buddies. I need time to build up my confidence to continue with my life...i need to reflect and plan my future. Hmm..i end here for now...take great care. I thank all of you for being part of my life..